Mentors...

I am learning a lot since I have made the decision to home-school my children. Some of the amazing things that have happened, have happened because I GET to have my children around me ALL of the time! However, I will admit, this has been one of the greater challenges in my life...physically, mentally and SPIRITUALLY!

Let me step back a few years...

I have said before that my desire to be a mother was there since I was just a small child. So marrying and choosing to create a family was not a hard choice for me to make. I've always known it was what wanted!

Wanting to be a great mother...everybody who wants to be a mother, wants to be a GREAT mother! There is no disputing that. But, I want to be more than that! I want to be a CHOICE mother...an "Elite" one. One that is talked about for her kind, gentle, and loving attributes...
I know one of those mothers personally. It is MY mother!

I have been studying a bit about home-schooling and in my studying I have come across a book that talks about MENTORS, and how they are what help build and make great people who they are. Some mentors come in the form of a teacher from school, or a bishop or leader from church. Some are great inventors, or heroes from the bible or other scripture stories. Some are past presidents and some are 'just' mothers or fathers.

As I look back on my life, I recognize that I have many mentors...some better than others...but my two of my greatest mentors are my mother and father.
They have left their mark in my life like no other. They, my mother especially, have been there through thick and thin for me.

As I was changing my baby girl this morning, there was a look in her little blue eyes that seem to say..."Thanks mom, for changing me...it was a simple task, yet one that was important and needed to be taken care of....And, you did it because you love me."
All mom's and dad's DO for their children what is best for them, out of love. They might tend their small child's wounds, hug the tears away, kiss their child's tear-streaked cheek, and send them on their way again. A father might scold a child that needs to be corrected. Sometimes one can find a GOOD mother/father laughing at a silly story/joke that her 9 year old learns from the other children at school...but as dull as the story/joke might be she still laughs and makes her child feel like it's the best story/joke she has ever heard! BUT...GREAT mothers/fathers...they might understand, but instead of trying to relate, they comfort and listen, and comfort and listen, and listen some more. GREAT mothers/fathers LISTEN.

I am a far cry from a GREAT mother. Even far from the good mother that I want to be. I am learning however. I understand and know that it takes a lot of patience to sit and listen to the silly joke and then laugh...I did that once...I took the time to listen to one of Will's silly jokes and then I laughed...the joy that came from that little boy was exciting! He quickly ran into the family room and reported to his siblings that "...Mom laughed at my joke!" How sad I thought. My kids don't even know that mom knows how to laugh! That scenario has replayed in my mind, over and over. The crazy thing is, it felt so good to laugh...Do I laugh? Do I really listen?

One thing that bothers me about other people are the things that they say about their parents. I can honestly say that I don't recall much negativism (unless I caused it) coming from my parents. Both my father and mother are quiet people.

Most of my friends, growing up, were afraid of my dad, but I think it was because of his quiet demeanor and piercing eyes that seem to search a persons soul, that frightened them. There weren't very many occasions in my life that I could get away with something without him already knowing. It was as if he could look right through me, and see my mistake...however, he never accused me, he waited for me to come to him and admit my error. I was, from a very young age, afraid of disappointing my father. I never recall him laying a hand on me, but I recall his face after disappointing him being enough for me to not want to make a mistake again. (Often times, I can't help but wonder if the respect that I had and learned for my earthly father, didn't help me respect and 'fear' my Father in Heaven...or maybe it was the other way around.)
I have always feared the wrong choice...not because I was afraid of the consequence as much as I was afraid of the disappointment from the ones that I loved.

My mother, she disciplined with a gentle hand...in fact, I can only recall a couple of times having a 'spank'....and even when she did spank, it wasn't enough to bring a tear to one's eye because of physical pain, more because of embarrassment or the idea that I disappointed her. My mothers idea of raising her voice was using our middle names! "Sarah Elaine" she would say....and then I knew I was in trouble. Now, I do recall being 'grounded' frequently! I even remember having to be inside before the street lights came on....for a long time it was that way!

My mother and father are the best example of what a mother and father should be. The proof is in the pot...I believe that they are now reaping their rewards for being great parents too. I think that my brothers, sisters and I have become strong, good and happy people with great values instilled in them from "goodly parents".

I know that I make lots of mistakes still...especially where raising my own children are concerned, but I know that I am closer to that Iron Rod, The Straight and Narrow, The Path of Righteousness, whatever you want to call it, more so now than I ever was before. And that is because of the things that I learned from them, my parents!!!

Back to my desire to be a GREAT mother...it is because of their simple and quiet ways of teaching me to be a better mother, that I know I can do it. And it is through my Heavenly Father and my desire to be better, that I know it will happen.

Almost 3 years ago, I spent a lot of quiet, tearful moments on my knees, asking Heavenly Father "to please help me be a better mother." It was after Waylon died that I realized what a rude awakening I had before me. I had/have a long way to go before I can obtain the title of an ' Elite Mother'...worthy of having a Celestial child. I know what it is that I want...less yelling, more prayer in my home, a knowledge of the scriptures, peaceful feeling, and a kinder, softer tone....a 'temple' feeling if you will. I recognize now that I can ask all day long for it and not receive it, because that is all I am doing...I am just asking for it. We all know that work, hard work, is a huge part of receiving our answers...and somehow, it just didn't click...even though I already knew this principle. Maybe I didn't think that it applied to motherhood? Maybe I imagined that it would just magically come because I was doing most of all of what I was taught was right? I don't know why I thought that it would be easily obtainable, I just did. I expected after asking that I would receive. It wasn't until after speaking with my father for a while this morning, that I was reminded of some things.
#1. Faith without works is dead!...How could I expect my Father in Heavens help when I wasn't willing to "Do the work"? He was answering...He was guiding...I just wasn't listening, or was too caught up in my fit to recognize/care about fixing the problem the kind and gentle way that He was prompting me to do.
#2. We all have made goals in life to help get us to a certain point that we desire to be. Did I think that after marriage and having children that I didn't need to set goals and try to achieve them anymore?
#3. We all have desires/weaknesses that we occasionally give into. One of mine happens to be lack of patience and yelling...loudly! Just like an alcoholic, I will have to overcome this trial/weakness through lots and lots of self control and prayer.
#4. We are given weakness from God to make us humble, and then teachable.
I think that is the most profound thing that I have learned in a while...That we are each given weaknesses to make us humble and then teachable!
Oh how I love my Dad. What a wise man!
His comment to me..."I have been wanting to talk to you about this for some time now, I just was waiting for the proper time...and here it is..." Once again, I went to him with my error and he helped me through...
My mother...she is a wonderful example of a Christ-like person. She was given the talent, I think, to be calm, patient, and kind. While the rest of us work for these things, she is well on her way to mastering these Christ-like traits. I love her dearly.
I pray that my children, when they reflect on their parents that they will speak with respect and kindness towards them. I pray that I will be the kind of mother that they will be able to say, "My mother was a woman of faith, she was kind and gentle and that she could laugh and have fun with us." "She knew about Jesus and she taught us well".
Every GREAT mother hopes for these things...but not just hopes, they strive to obtain them and make them a reality!
I know that I can become a GREAT mother. It requires Heavenly Fathers help, a WHOLE LOT of PRAYER and a TON of WORK on my part.