Is Time Standing Still?

Guess it's been a while...believe it or not, time feels like it stands still lately.



March 13, 2008 seems like yesterday, and yet it feels like forever ago...I feel like I am in a never ending dream and can't wake up! I keep waiting for someone to shake me and scream..."WAKE UP, YOUR DREAMING!" It doesn't happen though.



I realize that time is silently slipping through my fingers, like a hand full of sand from the beach, but it doesn't feel real right now...something is missing. Everything seems so jumbled, crazy, and lost. I don't want time to slip away from me...I want to enjoy every moment...It's just so difficult lately...I don't know if we are coming or going half of the time. Before Waylon's death, everything seemed so perfect and sure and for the most part, I think we had a pretty good plan and handle on things...now the only thing that seems sure and constant is God. It's like someone has taken a big box of puzzle pieces and tossed them aimlessly on a table...I am figuring out the outer edge of the puzzle (the importance of family, prayer, gospel principles, discovering my relationship with my Father in Heaven, etc.)... they are the easier ones right now for me...now I am down to the middle pieces (the harder ones for me), the ones that all look the same...the one's that look like they might fit, but not quite...you know, patience, trust, faith, etc. I wish that I could see the puzzle picture more clearly, and that these darn pieces would start fitting together...and yet, I am here to try to enjoy the ride while I can, and find joy in the journey! Please God, help me find joy in the journey...



So here is my attempt today in finding JOY in the JOURNEY...

My kids are healthy!

My Baby Winston is so supper cute and happy!

My Husband loves ME!

I have a house right now!

I have food to eat...and a husband that will cook it for me...(and he does a fantastic job too)!

I have cars that drive...

I have wonderful friends that love me in spite of my depressing out look lately!

I have good health!

I have wonderful parents and in-laws!

I have wonderful brothers and sisters...in-laws too!

I have my own set of scriptures!

I have clothes to wear...even some that fit right!

I have shoes...many to choose from.

I have a daughter and I am grateful for at least one!

I have 5 courageous boys that I love very much!

I have a husband that refuses to let life beat him!

I have a wonderful accountant!

I have a computer and phones to keep in touch with my family!

I know how to read and write.

I have the gospel

I have a knowledge that God loves me and knows what is best for me!!!

I have a child on the other side cheering me on "Don't give up MOMMY!!!